Can't say I blame him

Monkey makes escape and hates dental care

Raised at the Chengdu Zoo, the monkey was recently moved to a medical school for lab experiments on oral cavities.

Dissatisfied with the dental work and known for his hot temper, the monkey escaped from the lab around 1 pm on Saturday. After arriving at a nearby community, he bit an old woman in an attempt to take away some biscuits. He also stopped for some tea.

OK. Jesus.

All my monkey paranoia aside, I'm on this little trooper's side. Nobody wants to be the guinea pig for new dental procedures.

That's just not cool!

Men accused of tattooing vulgar phrase on teen's forehead arrested

Authorities have jailed two men after they allegedly held down a teenager and tattooed an obscene phrase onto his forehead.

Police in Norwich, N.Y., about 60 miles south of Syracuse, wouldn't identify the phrase, saying only that it was vulgar and offensive.

I'm guessing it was a three-letter epithet for a homosexual, but I could be wrong. The NY Post says the tattoo "is an extremely obscene phrase and a diagram." A "phrase" is more than a "word", so I'm probably not guessing right.

Banderlog Deportation

End of the road for marauding Simla monkeys

Once they provided idle amusement to the officers of the British Raj, but today the monkeys of Simla have officially been classed as an urban menace.

After a spate of thefts and biting incidents in the former summer capital of British India, India's supreme court has ordered the offending animals to be rounded up and sent back to the forest.

It's about time the Indians enforced a little discipline. Everyone knows that if you give the simians an inch, they take a mile.

God Bless teh Internets

Why is it so hard to balance in the dark? Someone asked MetaFilter and got an awesome answer:

I spent 10 years post doc working on this very problem. The balancing process is quite complicated, as noted by others above. There is a hierarchy of sensory inputs that are used to maintain one's balance. The most compelling is peripheral vision. In fact, the primary role of the vestibular system (organs of balance) is to stabilize the eyes during head movement so that a steady reference to the horizon is visible (personal discovery).

Ask MeFi is probably my favoroite part of the MetaFilter community simply because of stuff like this.

Shane Corcoran's Injuries

Shay has another update on Da Kine's status. It's mostly good. He's in Hawaii and has a crack team of ninja doctors working on his injuries. Just for the record, these are them:

  • Three left side skull fractures
  • One Right side Skull Fracture
  • Subdural Hematoma’s (Now gone)
  • Epidural Hematoma (There but getting better)
  • Right side brain contusion
  • Pelvis fractured twice
  • Fractured shoulder
  • Collapsed lung (not yet fully inflated, put on O2)
  • Broken ribs
  • Fractured tibia
  • Kneecap knocked out of alignment
  • Tendons and severe lacerations of right hand

Holy crap!

I figure his tennis, ballet, boxing, and Xtreme Tai Chi carreers are all a wash. And he may never play the violin again.

(Seriously, I'm glad and a little amazed that I can joke about it.)

In other news, it sounds like Shane and his wife Courtney may be moving to Boston. I'm disappointed to lose my Hawaiian tour guide, but that's exciting news.